Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Can't Cry Anymore, I Don't Think

I thought 8 years ago when I met the Love of My Life that we were meant to be life partners.  It hurts more then words can say when you find out that your partner has been cheating on you and you had no clue.  What do you say, what do you do?

I have been walking around in a daze since I found out yesterday.  I got angry, I did not yell or scream at him.  I just told him that I felt like a fool for not knowing about this.

If I had stock in kleenex, I could quit work and be rich.  I told him last nite that he needed to leave as soon as possible.  I still have three (3) days that I have to see him every day.  He will be staying here until this weekend and he gets paid.

He knows that I am filing for a divorce and I work with some great attorneys who will help me thru this process and help cut down on the cost.  I will be drawing up my own divorce papers for the attorney to review then my husband and I will sign them and then the attorney will file them in court.  Sounds Easy?  It may, but the emotional hurt goes way deep.

How will I survive, how will I go on day to day.  How will it feel to be alone?  How do I handle this.

I am still dealing with the death of mother and I still cannot bring myself to go thru her things to figure out what to keep and what to give away.

Times like this I want my mommy.  I need a shoulder to cry on instead of my very old trustworthy Garfield the Cat.  Eventhough he has seen many of my tears on him.

I would Love to just have her here to be with me and walk thru this process with me.