Decided to stop by the cemetary the day before Mother's Day. I was by myself, which is something I have not done since mom passed away. To my surprise, mother's foot marker was already in place. This was not expected so soon. We did not think that it would be placed until the end of the year. I am so glad that there was nobody around to see me melt in a puddle of tears. I took a picture of the marker and sent it to my husband via phone. He called me right away to make sure I was ok. Needless to say, I was crying so hard that I could not even talk.
I am thankful that I had that alone time with mother. I am glad that I was by myself. I am glad that I got to sit there for as long as I needed to cry. I know once you see the marker in place it makes things seem more final.
I still have not been able to bring myself to go thru her belongings. Everything is still stacked up around the house in boxes and bags.
I still think of mother every day. I still wonder if there was something I could have done to have kept her here with us longer. I know that mother is in a better place now with no pain. I know that she is happy and I know that she watches over me.